It’s Okay in 2023

Categories: Blog, Pressing RESET, Know Yourself, Feelings Jan 01, 2023

I’ve not been myself. For about three whole years now, I’ve been “weighted down.” I took the great shutdown pretty hard. In March 2020, when our studio had to close for over six months, it wounded me. Sadly, but honestly, ever since then, I haven’t quite been the same. 

I’ve been bitter and, at times, fairly apathetic. Things have been heavy for me as if I’ve been weighed down or on another planet with more gravitational pull. The pull of this gravity has affected all of me; my mind, my emotions, and my body. For three years…

It hasn’t all been bad. These Covid Times have taught me many valuable lessons that I am grateful for. For one, I am now highly aware of the things I can control and the things that I have no control over. I am also now certain that nothing last forever and change is the only thing you can really count on. That, and life as we now know it, does have an expiration date - I’m highly aware of this now due to some other adventures that have happened in the last three years. 

Like I said, these have actually been wonderful lessons. They have helped me develop a bigger, broader appreciation for life, and they’ve offered me clarity in the treasures life presents all around us. These three years have also taught me grace and patience - with myself. 

I’ve been aware that I’ve been angry, that I’ve been bitter, that I’ve been sad. And over time, I’ve learned how to let that be “OK.” I’ve learned how to allow myself to feel these things and how to forgive myself for feeling them. It’s not that these emotions are evil, but my paradigm had been that I should not have them, that I should be “better than that.” 

But emotions are gifts. They allow us to experience all the textures life has to offer. They can also spur us to reflect and listen to what they are telling us. If we let them, emotions can lead us to know ourselves better. Maybe, just maybe, they can even lead us to actually know ourselves rather than the dream of ourselves we’ve been hiding behind. 

Speaking of emotions (energy in motion), lately, I’ve been feeling something almost familiar but also unfamiliar. I’ve been feeling this edginess, drive-ness, weird energy sensation, but it’s not the energy of fear or of anger. I’ve been feeling it, so I’ve been giving it my attention, trying to understand it. And I finally have it figured out. It’s excitement. And now that I know what it is, it’s blowing me away. 

I’m excited. I feel it. I haven’t felt it in SO long, and I’d forgotten what it feels likes. The funny part is I have no idea why I’m excited. But it feels so good. It feels like the sun is rising up on the horizon, chasing away darkness. It feels like hope, like joy, like… me. 

It’s been three years since I’ve felt something like this, though I’m not certain I’ve ever felt anything quite like this. I have a wild gratitude towards this sensation that I’m feeling and think that amplifies the energy a bit. Anyway, three years of blah doesn’t even matter. This excitement is here now. Now, I am excited. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is, It’s OK. Whatever you are dealing with. It’s OK to feel the way you feel. I like to say, “it feels good to feel good,” and it does. But it is also okay if you don’t feel good because you’re navigating through some of life’s many adventures. It’s okay not to feel good. It’s okay to be angry sometimes. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to honor those feelings and allow them to run their course. Allowing our emotions to remain in motion allows them to pass through us, so they don’t get stuck. I may have dammed up some of mine a bit, and that’s okay, too. Anyway, our emotions are also messengers. If we listen to or acknowledge them, they can teach us many wonderful things about how we are and who we are. 

So, it’s okay if you don’t feel good all the time. Allow yourself some grace with how you feel, and let it be OK. While I believe we are created to feel amazing, we are also created to just feel and be. It is often in the hard, heavy times that we can grow and learn who we are, and that is the key to living in a good life. 

And that is my hope for you in this new year. May you know yourself or get to know yourself in 2023. And may you be wonder-filled even when you don’t feel wonderful. Just know that you will feel wonderful again, even if you don’t feel that way now. You will make it through to the other side. You always do. 

Have a Happy New Year!’ Or an Angry New Year! Or a Sad New Year! Whatever it is, it’s OK!

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