Is it enough?
Nov 11, 2019
Did I do enough?
Can I do more?
How much is enough?
Have I done all that I can?
Have I done all that I should?
Have you ever struggled with these questions? Maybe you’ve struggled with them about your diet or your exercise routine. Or maybe you’ve struggled with them when trying to help others with an issue. These are questions that can drive you crazy and leave you guilty. There is a chance they could leave you satisfied, but I find that is rarely the case. In fact, If I’m asking these questions, I’m already feeling as if I’m lacking in whatever area I am in that caused me to think of the question to start with.
I think there is one question that can pretty much sum up all of these questions and many of their cousins: “Am I enough?”
Whether it’s in our personal effort towards our personal goals or whether it’s in our “charitable” efforts towards others, I think the true underlying question is often “Am I enough,” which can also be translated into “Am I a failure?”
Either way, once I start wrestling with these questions, the inner turmoil seems to grow with gusto. It makes sense really. After all, If I’m really asking, “Am I enough?” I’m obviously coming from a place of doubt, incompleteness, fear, or brokenness.
You may not struggle with things like this, but sometimes situations come up where my tree gets shaken and I let that question slip in. When I was younger and I wanted to have a bodybuilder’s body, or really I wanted to be seen as a strong person, this question in all its forms pushed me to non-logical acts of exercise. It fueled some insane thinking that I was what I could lift and the measure of a person somehow stacked up to his weight room prowess. It was foolish, I know, but that question “Am I enough” pulled me like a tractor beam and pushed me like a locomotive. I’m over that nonsense now, but I remember the grip it had on me.
In my older, more “compassionate” days, I find this question slips in when I’m dealing with other people. This is where it gets tricky. In the desire to “do the right thing,” or truly in the desire to “be enough,” I can easily end up driving myself crazy with guilt due to a falsely placed sense of responsibility. Or I end up making myself angry because being responsible means being accountable and being accountable means you have to have a good account. Do you ever struggle with anything like this or is it just me?
Anyway, If you do struggle with these questions or this theme of “Am I enough?” I do know the answer to the question. Applying the answer though, well that’s the kicker, but the answer is, “Yes.”
If you ever struggle with “Am I enough,” the answer is “Yes.” That’s the answer.
You are enough. In all situations, in all moments, in all appearances, in all outcomes. You are. You don’t have to believe this right now. You can’t even really know it until you experience it - until you come to a place of knowing it on your own.
I guess I’m really telling you the end of the story and not the answer. If you struggle with “Am I enough,” and you continue to seek out the answer, eventually you come to a place where you get tired of letting your ego ask that question. Eventually, you can lay it down, take a breath, look around and simply know “Yes. I am.” When you can say “I am” fear and all its clothes fade away; doubt, guilt, anger, anxiety, etc. They all fall.
In the end, in the unrealized now, you are enough. You just are. That’s the answer. If you love yourself and lay your ego aside, you will find that you can love others effortlessly with no imaginary strings attached. Your thoughts towards yourself will be lined with grace and forgiveness that washes all nonsensical questions away. You will find that you are always enough.