We’ve all experienced growing pains. It’s a part of life. The body grows fast when we are young and our nervous system tries to keep up. What was once dialed in becomes uncorked due to new territory (growth and size), new hormones, new emotions and new issues. Some of us got clumsy and hurt ourselves through accidents, much like we did as a toddler and others of us actually hurt because our tissues were changing and trying to adapt to the demands that were being placed on them. I remember a period when my feet hurt tremendously. The point is physical growth can hurt.
Personal growth can hurt too. Growing as a person can have its challenges. It is no doubt rewarding, but it can also be frustrating and quite painful at times. The pain and frustration come from the struggle of awareness between who we want to be and who we perceive we are; it’s the distance between the belief in the greatest version of ourselves and who we think we actually are.
We want to be heroes, world changers, difference makers, good friends, and “nice” people. But we get mad at our spouse for trivial things, we cuss the guy who cut us off in traffic, we cringe when we feel like we are obligated to donate money for a sad story and a good cause and then agonize over struggling to understand why we just don’t want to give because we know it is a good cause. Why don’t we just want to give without feeling obligated? Why do I get so angry when someone passes me and then gets in front of me only to slow down? Why can’t you just come to the dinner table, don’t you know I want to eat!? AHHHGGGG!
Is this just me? Does this happen to you too? I know these are silly things but it’s these little silly things that add up and end up sabotaging us because, again, we PERCEIVE ourselves as being broken or less than who we want to be.
What if we are wrong? What if we are not actually who we think we are and what if we actually are the greatest version of ourselves that we want to be, only we don’t know it. What if our frustration and pain come from not knowing the truth about ourselves? What if all the pain is from an identity issue caused by the lies we’ve been told about who we are, or worse, the lies we believe about ourselves?
Think about it. If we weren’t made to be broken, how can we be broken? Wait, you may think your way into a pit with that. Let’s try it this way: If we were made to be strong, if we were made to grow, if we were made to heal, if strength, growth, and health are in us, if perfection, limitless potential, and love are in us from birth, how can we be anything less than the best version of ourselves? If everything in our design screams wonder and power and light (look at a happy, smiling baby = Light…), how can we possibly think we are not those things; wonderful, powerful, radiant with light?
No wonder we hurt. Instead of living in the wonder that we are, we wander and stumble over the lies of who we think we are. Personal growth pains or Identity pains? I don’t know. What I do know is that the RESET is pretty much the same as it is for the physical body; go back to the beginning.
If you were born with all that potential tucked away inside of you, maybe you just need to access it to restore your identity and live knowing that you are the best version of you, the you you were born to be. How do you do that?
Try this Mental RESET for the next 3-5 minutes. Or for however long it takes!
Breathe. Knowing with each breath, “I breathe, therefore I am.” As you inhale, fill yourself with joy, love, and good thoughts. With each exhale, let go of your doubts, frustrations, and pains.
You are. You are here. For a reason. You are the light that only you can be. Marinate on this.
Let go. Let go of your emotions and frustrations when they come up. Get it out. Cry, yell, laugh and move on. You did this when you were a child. You held no grudge, you simply cried it out and moved on. It felt good then, it can feel good now. But you have to let it out, let it go, and don’t analyze it. Just “catch and release” like any good hero would do.
Move. Moving restores the body and soothes the soul. Rocking calms children of all ages and walking brings clarity, understanding, and peace. You know this. Moving can be good medicine and going for a walk when you are mad just makes things better. If you need help letting go, move. Sitting still and holding on to bitterness is a death trap. Letting go and exploring how your body can move is the best therapy you could ever hope to give yourself.
Forgive. Like letting go, forgiveness is freeing. Forgive everyone, but especially yourself. You are not the person you perceive yourself to be. And, if you are harboring something against someone else, it is still probably because you are believing a lie about yourself. That’s not you. You are a difference maker, a world changer. That’s why you are here. If this trips you up, forgiveness is just another way of saying love; “I forgive you” means “I love you.” Forgiving yourself is loving yourself. Forgiveness, love, will RESET your life. I promise.
Be. You are the greatest version of yourself that you have ever imagined yourself to want to become. In fact, that is not your imagination but rather ” The Call” within you, or the “Identity Nudge” inside of you trying to wake you up from the dream that you are someone else.
Press RESET: Breathe. Let Go. Move. Forgive (Love). Be.